Monday, February 2, 2009

A Look Inside My Brain

I keep having these moments where it’s like another level of my conscious has just opened up and speaks to me. Lately it’s the hippy mommy one with crazy hair and Birkenstock clogs…she says to me, “you know that this is all really happening, right??”. All the others (and there’s many up there in my brain) just turn around and stare at her.
See, we’ve started and stopped the process so many times, I’ve been researching so long, seriously for probably 3+ years, that it’s hard for my entire brain to realize it’s real.
There’s another part of my brain though, the one that’s wearing a fabulous black suit with hair slicked back into a chic French twist, this part has grasped it since day one. She got out her blackberry organizer and began calculating tasks and procedures immediately, she made phone calls, scheduled home studies, did paperwork (and made copies and filed them according to stage of the process, damn she‘s good!), she’s began purchasing clothes at cost effective prices, researching nursery colors, she’s ON IT. When hippy mommy posed the above question, she whipped her head around and took off her glasses (because of course she wears glasses) and says in her best bitchy executive voice: “of course we know this is all happening, man. We’ve been working on this since the second the husband said Go. It’s time for you to Wake Up, smell the patchouli, and get to work!” But sadly, bitchy (but uber productive) executive doesn’t always show up, sometimes it’s these other ones on duty up there, like today it's lazy lame hippy mommy. I don’t know how they organize their schedules but it’s not easy to get things done with so many different management types in charge!
Disclaimer: the above is a complete fictional work and any resemblance it may bear to real bitchy executives or real hippy moms, was totally unintentional, coincidental, with no offense intended.

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