Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I am a big believer of signs. I can take the most miniscule event and find great life changing meaning in it. You know, you run into someone you haven't seen in forever that you were just thinking about, see a street name that is also a city name that you are going to, you keep waking up at the same time. It all must mean SOMETHING in my mind. Even though a logical part of my brain tells me that certain occurances happen whether you see them or not; and the fact that you apply meaning to that occurance is what makes it "a sign". If you chose not to see it as a sign, it would cease to be one, correct? And what often seems like a bad sign, might in fact be a good one.
One of my favorite stories on this end is of the Chinese farmer on his horse, which he uses to till his fields. One day the horse runs off. A neighbor sympathizes with the farmer at his bad luck in losing his horse. "good luck, bad luck, who knows?". A week later the horse returns with a whole herd of horses and the neighbor congratulates the farmer on his good luck. Again he replies withe the "good luck, bad luck, who knows?". Then the farmer's son is trying to tame one of the wild horses and gets thrown off and breaks his leg. Everyone in the village thought this was very bad luck, except for that wise old farmer who knew the ancient Chinese secret. again he replies "good luck, bad luck, who knows?". A while later the army marches into the village and orders every able bodied young man to enlist. Except for the farmer's son of course, who they let off because of his broken leg. Can you see where I'm going with this....
So I mentioned that we decided to edit our homestudy from 'girl only' to be open to either gender. I thought this would be a quick and easy change. Just a few clicks of the social worker's mouse and there you have it. Without boring you and myself with all the details, it turned out to be a convoluted confusing process and our placement agency advised us to just leave it 'as is', meaning with the "girl only" request. This way we get it into USCIS (Citizenship/Immigration) and get the ball rolling on getting our 171-h (a form from USCIS/Homeland Security that allows us to bring our child in the country). Now we might still change it in the future; many different regions will still allow you to consider a boy even if your homestudy says otherwise. But I couldn't help but think if this was all happening in some preordained way; that try as hard as I might to change a freaking piece of paperwork it seemed unchangable! So as of yesterday the Fates decided we are still getting a girl, but I'm trying not to think too much. Nothing is ever definite in adoption and it is not a good idea to get predestined ideas in your mind. Good luck, bad luck, who knows.